Steve Ballmer

Why I Hate CES… And You Should Too

by admin

A few year ago, Steve Ballmer walked on stage to deliver the keynote address at the Consumer Electronics Show. Ryan Seacrest then hosted an interview, apathetically feeding Ballmer questions from a script to tout Mango and Windows 8 — software he promised would revolutionize the world.

Mango didn’t, and Windows 8 still hasn’t. Ballmer then closed it out by bringing out its “Tweet Choir,” singing an awkward CES-inspired song to cap off the festivities.

The Cesspool of Demos

If you’re wondering where the gadgets are, you aren’t alone. Microsoft isn’t the only offender either. Had you sat in any keynote speech, for that matter, the same scenario would have played out — albeit without Seacrest. Instead of great products, most companies treat the show as a platform to parade the same junk — and by junk, I mean, crap.

In fact, CES has degraded into a cesspool of demos, vaporware and supposed “sneak peeks” — none of which is really newsworthy. Rather than real products, booths flanked by pretty faces tout their next revolutionary devices — and, of course, they’re all revolutionary. But the truth is, most, if not all, are mediocre at best — gadgets designed to follow trends rather than spearhead innovation. The last truly inventive product highlighted at CES happened four years ago, when Palm showcased the Pre, running then-groundbreaking WebOS software. Since then, CES has produced few inspiring devices. Case in point: the most recent fad of 3-D smartphones. Forgot to buy yours? Yeah, I did too.

The Legacy of CES

So why do we still care about CES? The simple answer is legacy. Started in 1967, CES showcased the best products the tech industry had to offer. For example, the VCR was introduced in 1970, the CD player in 1981 and the DVD in 1996. But in the years since, monumental leaps slowly gave way to incremental enhancements. Sure, as technology matures, innovative jumps smooth out, but now the Internet also provides a platform. Companies can push their message directly to consumers, using real-time blogs and social media in never-before ways.

In the past, they needed these sprawling trade shows to generate awareness to hundreds of reporters at once. If you wanted to contact each outlet, it was time-consuming, if not impossible to coordinate.

The Shift Away from CES

We shouldn’t care about CES. Yet it still persists. The show is a relic of a bygone era — and companies are starting to move away in favor of their own launch events. CES won’t produce any big hits. Today, any company with a truly revolutionary product would be foolish to unveil it at CES. Reporters are not only swamped with soul-sucking press conferences, but bloggers are too busy regurgitating specs of the next revolutionary gadget.

The Rise of Individual Events

Your own event makes sense: you can choose the release date, directly reach consumers and have the limelight all to yourself. Apple, which famously hosts its own conferences around the same time as CES, unveiled its iPhone and iPad at its own San Francisco venue. Amazon and Nintendo, meanwhile, took a page from the playbook and used their own events to showcase the Kindle and Wii.

Conclusion: CES Reconsidered

Basically, anything that’s worth caring about won’t be shown at CES.

In this day and age, Fortune 500 companies can summon a respectable press gathering with a simple e-mail invitation. Coupled with a lavish launch party, a hip band for ambiance, and a few photographers to snap stylish photos for the company blog, and you’ve got the makings of a buzz-worthy event to fill the blogosphere. Instead, if you attend CES, you’ll be welcomed by humid rooms full of stinky men in all shapes and sizes. And if you manage to stay awake through PowerPoint sales numbers for Nicaragua, which reminds you of your brutish, miserable existence, you’ll be rewarded by a mad dash to 10 other press conferences down the hall — all so you can relive the same life-crushing experience.

But, you know, it’s not all bad. At least you won’t see Ryan Seacrest again.

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